Family and Marriage
Agree of family of origin boundaries.
“Many arguments arise from family of origin expectations,” says expert.
It’s a situation she encounters over and over in her practice, particularly among Filipinos. “Aside from the question of how to deal with in laws, couples also have discussions about how to spend their time between both families of origin.”
When there no clear agreements, couples end up in heated discussions over where to spend Christmas, new years, mother’s day, and every other holiday. Weekend visits can be problematic, too. “There’s also that danger of having either set of parents dominating you both, making you forget that you’re now establishing a family of your own.”
The simple solution? As a couple, set your own guidelines on what’s fair, realistic, and supports your growth as couple and as your own separate family unit. Commit to these decisions and follow through.